Assalamualaikum and hi peeps! It has been months since the last time I updated this blog kekononnya dulu bila dah renovate makin bersemangat nak blog tapi biasalah tu perancangan manusia tidak sempurna ecewah. As we all know, 2016 is already ended and HELLO 2017! Wow wow wow I’m going to be 21 by this year and of course it somehow bothers me in a way because dah makin tua ni cemanaaaa sobs T.T
My 2016 had its own ups and downs. I experienced lots of things; happiness, heartbreaks, contentments, disappointments. And everything that happened really helped me to become a better Anati, err maybe luls. To be honest, 2016 was like an emotional roller coaster ride for me. I could pretend to be the most happiest person at times but I could also be in my most vulnerable state all day long. I noticed that I always let the negativity take over me in 2016. My self-esteem went down the drain, I doubted myself a lot. I don't even know why I acted like that.
Now, I'm going to tell you the highlights of my 2016!
Disclaimer: This is going to be a loonnngggg post
Now, I'm going to tell you the highlights of my 2016!
Disclaimer: This is going to be a loonnngggg post
March 2016. I represented my faculty for Pertandingan Debat Piala Naib Canselor. I teamed up with Ryka, Zati and Syamil. They are my lecturemates and it took a really long time to convince them to enter this competition. I have to admit that we struggled a lot for this because I am the only one who have basic knowledge of debate so we need to learn everything from scratch. Nak fahamkan roles pun dah makan beberapa hari tu belum lagi bincang usul. However, I was very proud, am still proud, to have these great people as my teammates because they are very persistent to learn, thank you guys :’)
 |
| training session |
We entered the competition without any target or
expectation. We were the underdog team, nobody even bat an eye to us. It was
all just for experiences. We managed to win 4 preliminary rounds out of 6.
After the 6th round, we believed that we ain't going to make it to the
quarter final so we went home with the thought that was the end of our journey
in this competition. However, Allah had better plan for us. We actually placed 7th and
barely managed to break into the quarter final. And then the semi-final and
alhamdulillah we were one of the finalists (this
still feels surreal).
The moment they announced that we won the semi-final round, we broke into tears. It wasn’t happy tears but we were actually terrified, we felt like we didn’t deserved the final stage. We doubted ourselves and even came to the decision untuk tarik diri. I was the most vulnerable one among 4 of us and up to this moment I’m still feeling guilty about that. Dah la kita yang beria ajak diorang join pertandingan tu lepas tu kita pulak mengada-ngada nak tarik diri. I should convince them about our capability, just like how we survived the other rounds. I’m so sorry guys. We were at our lowest point at that time. We couldn’t even brain what the motion “Dewan Ini Percaya Kuota 30% Bumiputera Sudah Tidak Releven” is all about.
Fortunately,
we have our debate seniors that managed to calm us down and willingly helped us
to discuss the motion. I thank god for the existence of these kind people. They
really helped a lot like I could say that 100% of our winning factor was
because of them. Without them, I really sure that we were going to end up as
idiots on the final stage. Thank you so much :')))
 |
| the seniors that i am super grateful for |
The final event was held in DKP 3 at 8PM. Only god
knows how nervous I was at that time. I was trembling, I even questioned myself
why did I enter this competition in the first place. When I was on the stage, I
could see my friends came to support us in the audience seat and the feeling
was indescribable. I felt happy and thankful but at the same time I was like, “KENAPA
KORANG DATANG SEGAN LAH KITORANG DEKAT ATAS NI!” luls.
We were on the opposition side. I have to admit that Ryka and Zati improved a lot on that night. They were so confident and I am so proud of them because I know how hard they struggled for this. When it came to my turn, the sounds of my heartbeats is no joke. It felt like my heart could actually pop out from my chest. I could heard how trembling my voice was and I tried my very hard to calm myself down. I kept searching for the debate seniors at the audience seat because they were my strength force at that time. It was like the longest 7 minutes of my life and thank god I survived.
When they announced that we won this competition, the
feeling was surreal. Super surreal. We got standing ovations. I heard loud
claps all round me. I saw lots of smiling faces that seems like they are truly
happy for us. I could listen that some of them were cheering my name. I saw the
flashing cameras. I tried to smile but it felt super awkward like KENAPA
AKU SENYUM HEROT SEBELAH NI?!! It was a great moment but I couldn’t really
enjoyed it.
When the ceremony ended, Kak Mimi came and hugged us tightly (I struggled hard to hold back my tears at this time) while kept repeating, “Kan akak dah cakap korang boleh!”, Abang Irham, Abang Salam, Abang Arip, Abang Iqmal, Kak Mika semua pun looked like they were sincerely happy for us. Our friends came up and congrats us. Cameras here and there. It was so surreal.
However, I couldn’t fully enjoy the moment. To be
honest, I was a little bit disappointed with my performance on that night. This
is the reason why I never posted about this kemenangan at my social medias. I
felt like I didn’t deserve to win this competition. It took me months to
actually stop degrading myself while reminiscing that final stage and now it
left me with regrets. I should have actually enjoy our winning
moment. I should be happy at that time and live the moment. How I wish that I
could repeat that moment all over again.
There are so many people that I have to thank for this
beautiful memory. First, of course I have to thank Umi and Abah that
always support me in everything that I do. Thank you for shaping me into who I
am right now. I could never ask for more :')))
Second, a big thanks to Zati, Ryka and Syamil for you guys punya willingness to join me for this competition. Terima kasih sangat sangat sebab sanggup berlatih for a fortnight sampai pukul 12 lebih, walaupun tayar kereta pecah motor rosak pun sanggup lagi training. Thanks sebab sanggup untuk mencuba walaupun tak pernah berdebat langsung sebelum ni. Thank you for the trust that you guys put on me. I could never ask for better teammates and I will forever be proud of you guys :’)))
Special thanks to Balkis and Hariz jugak sebab sanggup join training sekali konon konon macam coach, serious sangat membantu.
Thirdly, to the seniors; Abang Irham, Kak Mimi, Abang Muzak, Abang Arif, Abang Salam, Abang Iqmal, Kak Mika; you guys are our winning factor. Thank you sebab sanggup stay sampai lewat petang untuk ajar kitorang. Terima kasih sangat sangat sebab sentiasa cuba untuk menaikkan semangat kitorang. Thank you for all the support. Thank you so much for the trust that you guys put on us. May Allah repay your kindness :’)))
Fourthly, to all my friends who kept supporting us. Thanks sebab datang and thanks jugak untuk beratus-ratus mesej yang masuk wish good luck dan tahniah.
However, on top of all that I have to thank Allah swt for these beautiful arrangements that He made. Alhamdulillah for these amazing teammates that I had. Alhamdulillah for the existence of our kind senior debaters. Alhamdulillah for the opportunity that He gave to us to be crowned as the champion of Debat Piala Naib Canselor. Alhamdulillah for the chances that He gave to me to be honored as best debater for all 6 prelim rounds, the quarter-final, the semi-final and also the final stage. It was far from my expectation. Alhamdulillah for everything :’))))
Okay ini satu penulisan yang sangat panjang ye. This competition has a very big impact on me and I am actually getting emotional while writing this lol. It was an evidence on how negative I was sampaikan menang pun tak rasa happy. I promised myself that I want to learn more on self-acceptance in 2017 and I have to stop blaming myself for everything, insyaAllah.
I noticed that I do spend more time with my loved ones in 2016. The whole family went to Aceh on 5th June until 8th June. It was during my study week but of course I couldn’t miss the trip tambah tambah lagi Opah and Ibu’s family also tagged along. We went for snorkeling at Pantai Iboih. We tried their traditional cuisine. We spent our 1st Ramadhan in Aceh and experienced the different culture and tradition. It was great. I am looking forward to many more family trips in 2017!
Besides that, I am grateful that I could meet my high school friends for several times in 2016. First, it was during Nacu’s wedding on 16th April. The first one in our batch that got hitched. You know it felt like
“Ya Allah, dah besar dah aku rupanya. Dulu asyik pegi wedding
anak kawan umi abah, sekarang ni pegi wedding kawan sendiri.”
After that, we had our PESTA 3.0 during Ramdhan and rasa mengimbau kenangan sangat sangat dapat bukak puasa sama sama dengan member sekolah dulu. Then, some of us went to our beloved INTESABER to become the volunteers for Sport Day on 28th July. Masa nilah terubat rasa rindu dekat cikgu sekolah semua. Seronok sangat tengok semangat rumah sukan dan haruslah bertambah seronok bila Kripton jadi johan keseluruhan jyeahhh!
Lots of people told me that I am an emotion-less person. I cannot express my feelings really well and I have to admit that. I tend to kept everything to myself pastu nanti meroyan tak pasal pasal. I wish I could be more expressive and shower lots of love to the people that I care about.
2016 is also a year that I’m becoming more active. I entered competitions. I involved in many outdoor activities. I helped to organise events. I volunteered to do things. I started to do things that I enjoy. I promised myself that I’m going to grab all the chances and opportunities that are lying ahead in 2017 and hope that I wont have any regrets later.
 |
| pertandingan memasak iFest |
 |
| breathtaking view of Bukit Tabur |
 |
|
In a nutshell, 2016 is an amazing year for me. Alhamdulillah for all the things that happened, the goods and bads. And I hope that everyone else also feels good about their 2016 as well. Last year has become a history, hopefully our 2017 will be filled with lots of beautiful memories. If I were to list out my new year resolutions, it is going to be one hell long of list so in general I just want to be a better Anati, insyaAllah #PrayforTheBetterAnati
p/s : I didn’t have time to proof-read this because hellooo esok exam sobs so pardon for any spelling or grammar mistakes and tolong doakan seorag Anati berjaya jawab exam dengan cemerlang kbye!
Love,
Anati
0 comments:
Post a Comment
Drop your comment :)