Assalamualaikum
So just few hours left before gerak balik USIM. Woahhh, it feels super awkward to be in USIM again after the 4 months break. I got mixed feelings about this whole degree thing. First, I am excited because this gonna be a new phase of my life. I'll be meeting new friends, joining the clubs and more, it's exciting isnt it? Then, I am a little bit worried pasal study, whether actuarial science is actually my thing or not. Fuhhh, this is something that will affect my future please pray the best for me guysss.
But on top of all that, I am sad. I feel sad to leave home. I feel sad to be apart from my family again. I know Nilai-Sungai Buloh isnt that far even tiap tiap minggu boleh balik. Apalah sangat nak banding dengan yang belajar dekat overseas sana but I also dont know why I'm behaving like this. 5 tahun duduk asrama dulu pun tak pernah rasa macam ni. Maybe betullah orang kata, makin tua makin sensitif jadinya T.T
" Bila angah balik esok, sunyilah Umi. Takde sapa nak teman Umi dah, tinggal Umi sorang je perempuan dekat rumah tu."
I'm literally weeping masa taip ni. Fuhhh, masa Umi cakap macam ni, I laughed, in order to hold back my tears. Sepanjang 4 bulan cuti, I am the one who do all the house chores so the fact that lepas ni Umi yang kena sidai kain, sapu sampah, mop lantai semua is killing me inside. Umi is not that young anymore, and she suffered slipped disk and she have to go to work in the morning so it is heartbreaking for me to let her do all the house chores by herself. How I wish I could stay home forever, is that too much to ask for?
" Alaaa, Kak Long baru balik pagi tadi, takkan laa esok Angah nak balik pulak. Angah balik laa minggu depan tak boleh ke?"
You know the feeling when your little brothers say this thing to you? Fuhh, they're not helping either, buat rasa lagi tak nak balik USIM lagi adalah. Masa balik sekolah semalam, Nafiq cakap TERIMA KASIH ANGAH banyak banyak kali. It turns out that he scores 100% on his arabic test. Before test tu, I am the one yang tolong dia hafal vocab tiap tiap malam. Woahhh, I'm very proud of him. Angah will miss all our badminton matches, rebut remote tv, all our gaduh gaduh manja T.T
Fuhh. Idk what to say anymore. I know this is a pengorbanan but I need time to adapt to this. To those yang belajar dekat overseas, salute gilaaa you guys. Okay let me layan perasaan for a little while sobssss T.T
The Weeping Lady,
ANATI
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